Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Fun on the slopes...the demo day...

Allow me to set the stage.

My last downhill skiing of any sort was 1983 at Sundance.  It was fun.  Remember that in 1983, Reagan was president.  In his first term.  Just to put it in perspective.

The free lift ticket provided to outdoor retailers was restricted to one lift. There were options between black diamond runs and double black diamond runs.  I wisely chose the runs least likely to break, separate, or otherwise damage the more delicate parts of the skeletal structure.

Oh, and it was my first time on Telemark skis.  The reason I am smiling is because I am at the top of the run.

If I were the sort of person who embarrasses easily, I would have been embarrassed today.  As it is, I don't mind appearing stupid if I actually am stupid.  In this case, stupidissimo.

As it is, I had a great time.  I fell a lot.  Yes, it was icy and yes, the hills were steep and yes, I could come up with a dozen excuses why I fell.  The reason I fell is because I am a rank novice at this level of skiing.  I link turns with the grace of an epileptic gazelle.  I address the fall line in a quite literal manner.  In short, I totally sucked.

Then I fell on my left hip, inside the pocket was small waterbottle.  I now have a nice bottle-shaped bruise on my left hip.  I feel like I was hit with a fast pitch thrown by a competent AAA starting pitcher.

Horseman was generous enough to hand-hold me down the mountain.  I rewarded him by allowing him to buy me a vitamin water at the lodge.

So the upside...awesome hill, beautiful snow (albeit an ice sheet in some places), not breaking anything I can't fix before I get back on an airplane.

Downside:  Can't think of one.

Respectfully submitted,



Silbs said...

epileptic gazelle? You have out done your self on this one. Ain't gravity grand?

Hailey Thompson said...

You are so cool Uncle Darren. Really. Also, being a telemark skier myself, I'm very proud of your open-mindedness in trying it out---it's intimidating! I am laughing at how amazingly similar we are...Gandhi, no-knead bread, corn landscapes. You rock. I cannot wait for canoecopia.