Thursday, March 26, 2009

It starts with an S, and it ends with a T... comes out of you, and it comes out of me.
I know what you're thinking, but that's not where I'm at.
'Cause you are thinking one thing, but I'm just thinking SCAT!

An excellent rhyme when teaching 5th graders about the wonders of defecation.

Another excellent tool for teaching about scatological morphology are the many different artificial scats you can purchase from environmental education supply catalogs.  I find this interesting for a few reasons.

First, that you could get scats for fifty different animals.  Second, that you can let elementary and middle school kids handle these artificial scats without having them snigger constantly.  Third, that someone took the time to identify, collect, cast, and find the perfect resin and colors to approximate the proper textures and hues to provide a realistic experience [sans olfactory inputs].  Think of the cocktail party conversation...

"So, Mr. Jones, what do you do for a living?"

"I'm Vice President of Marketing for BoringCorp, Inc., a subsidiary of Snooze Industries.  You?"

"I'm a scatological techician."

"Well, that's a funny way to say 'jazz singer.'  Ha ha ha."

"I don't sing.  I make fake feces.  Scat, if you're a biologist."

"No, really.  What do you do?"

"Actually I have a sample of bat guano, insect diet*, here in my pocket..."


"No, shi...I mean, wow.  That must be  Scat.  Wow."

And fourth...I can see paying $15.95 for item SC-16313, Boar, Wild, Acorn Diet.  But paying $9.95 for Cat, Domestic, SC-16310?  Raise your hand if you've never seen a litter box.

Thought so.

Respectfully submitted,


*Part No. SC-17148, $7.95.


Capt'n O Dark 30 & Super Boo said...

You're "scatting" me!!!

please see previous posts of " - " and too many !!! It is a heck of a lot funnier...

Mark Ritz said...

You, my friend, have a truly sick, sick mind! Keep up the great work.

canoelover said...

You're just saying that because you used to work for a subsidiary of Snooze Industries and now you make a caffeine delivery mechanism.